“While most kids aspire to be super-heroes, I wanted to be a vampire.”

Cejaye is from Alberta, Canada. She shared her story at an Alpha conference in the USA.

Beginning with my first horror film at age 4, I spent my childhood fascinated by monsters and villains. While most kids aspire to be super-heroes, I wanted to be a vampire. As I grew older, I continued to be drawn to things that were bad for me. I started smoking before I was 10 and as I grew older, I used all the alcohol and drugs I could get my hands on. I even survived a drug overdose before I was 20 years old.

My life seemed to be a never-ending cycle of terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible. I never considered going to church. Absolutely not. I thought church people were a little crazy – that they lived in a make-believe world and they were going to have a rude awakening when the end of their days came. This was from someone who had aspired to be a vampire! I wanted to strangle all those smiling, happy people and say, “What’s wrong with you people? Don’t you see what’s going on?”

By the time I reached my 20’s, I was unmarried and pregnant. It was about that time that I met Stacey. We had similar pasts. We both came from the same kind of background – the same hurts and the drug abuse – so I had a lot that I could relate to with her. We became good friends. After a few months, Stacey invited me to come to church with her and her husband. I said I would.

I went to church with her a couple of times, and one day I picked up a pamphlet that described something called the Alpha course that was being offered at her church. It was described as an opportunity to explore the fundamentals of Christianity – what Jesus died for and who God is – and offering answers to the essential questions that most atheists have. Stacey and I decided to attend the course together.

There were about 20 people at the course that first night. Everyone was friendly and welcoming. We were served an awesome dinner, then sat down and watched a video by Nicky Gumbel.

I realized pretty quickly that Nicky Gumbel had experienced some of the same feelings towards Christians as I had, so I really related to that. The video and the course made me open my ears and I liked what I was hearing. The topic titles promised to answer some of the same questions I had, so that kept me coming back.

After five weeks, I was eager to take that important step. With Nicky guiding me on the video, I asked Jesus into my life and asked God to fill my heart with the Holy Spirit. It was an incredible experience that had me crying all the way home. I took the Alpha course for a second time, then started going to church regularly and started reading the Bible. The Alpha course, by introducing me to Jesus, changed my life in unbelievable ways. I pray every day, I've let go of my anger, become more patient, and for the first time in my life, have a good relationship with my parents.

But the biggest change is in my heart. I feel like the Grinch at the end of my favourite Christmas movie, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. My heart is growing bigger every day with the love I have found for Jesus, and I will be forever grateful.

Cejaye

Read a fuller version of Cejaye's story in this issue of Alpha News from the UK: